All of this

All of This

Tonight, quietly, I find myself floating.  Another lens focused.  Another mirror polished.  Another moment of undefinable joyous peace, as pure and arresting as when I first saw Saturn’s rings sparkle through my dad’s telescope as a young boy.  In an instant, my young mind was unboxed.

Small antique bulbs glow in the corner, casting orange swirls onto slanted walls of bare cedar planks.  Majestically mystic sounds of vocal music dance up the steep metal staircase to gather at the loft’s wrought iron balcony.  They serenade me, and the dogs who sleep at my feet.  I’m wrapped in a rustic wool jacket for no reason, and pajama pants for a reason. 

I am shedding the shackles of societal pressures, clearing the clutter of keeping up.  Freeing my heart has led me to receive what has been lurking just beyond the reach of my outstretched arms.

Contentment.

That the more I seek, the more I will continue to find.  Though I’ve lost focus, at times, on the music around me, the Conductor has graciously and gently adjusted my metronome, teaching me how to continue to make music in times when the score is difficult to read.

Courage.

That my receiving this season of favor was tailored for me.  I cannot deny the appointments I’ve encountered due to my being able to listen to, and follow, the sounds.  I’ve studied under many music teachers, but never a greater conductor for my solo than Mother Nature.

Confirmation.

That I am seen and cared for by a higher power who somehow manages to continue shining light into darknesses lurking beyond my shadows.  I now see, with His lens, beyond the faded lines of days past darkened.  “All of that was for all of this,” I heard before.

Tonight, a whisper…

“All of this will be for all of which is yet to come”.

Without question, He has been by my side my entire walk.  I finally took the road less travelled, and that has made all the difference to me.  The narrow path I stumbled upon by accident has joined a path much harder to find – His.

I fish shoulder to shoulder with the guy who invented fish to fish for.  I hike next to the artist who created the very landscape I stumble through and photograph.  I sit with a friend on a cliff, listening to the voices of nature make harmonies that inspire even inspiration.  I commune with my neighbors, near and far, through shared love and respect, intentionally stepping out of our shoes and into theirs, if only for a moment, so that we may see each other’s colors more vividly.

I’ve found my path, though it was unmarked and challenging.  Long days of searching and longer nights of introspection have led me to a place long longed for.  I am relaxed, empowered, creative. I am in tune and in focus.

This is me breathing

This is me at peace

This is me loving

Me