Requiem

Requiem

What do you do with dreams of your past when they come knocking?  The past two mornings I’ve woken in cold sweats with dreams of someone from before.  It feels like driving a motorhome downhill, gaining moment for the next climb, when a deer jumps in front of your path.

Does the subconscious have the ability to ‘know’ things that are distant?  Is my emotional brain working out the wrinkles while my conscious is out to lunch?  What purpose could these dreams serve?  (And, why do babies have nightmares?  Another topic)

I’ve had enough prophetic dreams to consider them more meaningful than coincidence. I had a dream that an ex was terminally ill.  In real life she’d borne a child that was terminal.  I had a dream an ex was cheating; to find out she was talking with an ex of hers.  I’ve known when a friend was suffering.  I believe I’ve always possessed the ability to sense, feel and know things without knowing them.

I wish I knew what to do with them.

Reaching out to my past promises to provide nothing but unrest and unravelling.  However, my heart tries to justify a ‘how are ya?’ text, likely putting me back into the ‘rescuer’ role. 

Curious, considering my insights are almost always associated with females in pain.  Both of my recent dreams involved the same person in some state of emotional discomfort.  When we were together, from day one, our abilities to comfort each other was paramount. 

Being alone and lonely are certainly discernable, and as much as I am kept warm by spooning Ridge, a cold wet nose in my armpit is a rude awakening.  The excitement for this season is as high as ever. As I embrace a calmer life and let it settle in, perhaps my mind is now able to process some of the lingering fragments of former families.